There are some texts with a darker undertone that I don’t want to simply expose to everyone. At the same time, to ensure that my diary can truthfully record my inner thoughts, I have decided to write it down. If anyone wishes to view it, feel free to contact me at any time. If anyone is willing to understand, I will expose everything about myself, or if you have the means to view it in another way, please go ahead. ...
December 10, 2006 Dearest Clare, As I write this, I am sitting at my desk in the back bedroom looking out at your studio across the backyard full of blue evening snow, everything is slick and crusty with ice, and it is very still. It’s one of those winter evenings when the coldness of every single thing seems to slow down time, like the narrow center of an hourglass which time itself flows through, but slowly, slowly. I have the feeling, very familiar to me when I am out of time but almost never otherwise, of being buoyed up by time, floating effortlessly on its surface like a fat lady swimmer. I had a sudden urge, tonight, here in the house by myself (you are at Alicia’s recital at St. Lucy’s) to write you a letter. I suddenly wanted to leave something, for after. ...