🌄 Diaries

10:24 Anxious All Morning Feeling discontent with the current situation and uncertain about the future inevitably leads to anxiety. When will life reach its conclusion? Is death truly the only endpoint? The rankings for the Emergency Management Bureau interview have been released, which has significantly boosted my confidence. Link: Announcement of Comprehensive Evaluation (Interview) Results Ranking for the 2025 Talent Recruitment of the Affiliated Institutions under the Liupanshui Emergency Management Bureau 20:03 Studying The Great Learning My teeth have been hurting all day, likely due to the medication I’ve been taking. Fortunately, my eyes aren’t as uncomfortable as they were yesterday. ...

09:52 Feeling Anxious Again In the past, I tended to prepare and arrange daily study plans because I couldn’t go abroad due to financial constraints. But if the CSC scholarship is approved and I can go, things like English proficiency will become extremely important. Some research tools can be temporarily set aside, but I must set aside time every day to study English. 15:08 Check the Vendor’s Overall Appearance Before Buying A few days ago, I bought some corn and immediately noticed it wasn’t great, but I had already picked two, so I reluctantly bought them. I also noticed the vendor was selling loquats and bayberries, neither of which looked fresh. ...

Yesterday, I stayed up late playing games with Huanhuan and didn’t sleep until 3 a.m. Today, I’m exhausted. This morning, after getting up, I stir-fried some clams and saved some of them to make clam noodles with the leftover vermicelli from yesterday. The stir-fry turned out pretty good—I’ll definitely make it again in the future. The quality of ingredients is the key to whether a dish tastes good or not. I looked it up online and learned that clams can simply be steamed with a bit of cilantro and sesame oil, and they’ll already be delicious. Next time I get fresh clams, I’ll give that a try. ...

This morning, I made lobster tail pasta, and it turned out pretty good. It’s just not as tasty as live crayfish, but it’s fine to have occasionally. After a short nap in the afternoon, we went to the seafood street and bought some oysters (¥3 each, opened on the spot) and clams (¥7 per pound—the vendor even threw out the bad ones). It was quite a good deal. Then we headed to the supermarket to pick up some side ingredients and seasonings. ...

I haven’t woken up early in a long time, but today I had to because I was attending an interview at the Material Support Center in the morning. Strictly speaking, this was my second structured interview. The first one was when I took the civil service selection exam in Anshun before graduating. Back then, I didn’t prepare seriously—I just watched a few videos to get familiar with the interview process. Naturally, the lack of preparation led to failure, though I was surprised to have made it to the interview stage with a completely unprepared written test. ...

Summer has arrived, and I’ve been waking up quite early in the mornings, unable to fall back asleep, which feels a bit uncomfortable. After studying briefly in the morning, I felt drowsy again. Tomorrow, Xiaoyi has an interview with the Emergency Management Bureau, so he came to stay at Niuwa’s place tonight. We had a meal together and went to find Deng Ya and the others. In the evening, Huanhuan’s house was filled with relatives. I called and messaged her, but she didn’t respond promptly. I knew she was once again facing pressure from all those relatives, and there was nothing I could do about it. ...

After sharing my emotionally draining thoughts with Huanhuan last night, I felt much calmer today. Recently, I’ve started leaning toward hoping that the CSC (China Scholarship Council) will reject my funding application. There are two main reasons for this: First, I can already foresee that the next few years abroad would likely be quite painful, and because of this, the prolonged lack of a stable job has been weighing on me for a long time. Second, I’ve begun to fear the prospect of long-term separation from my loved ones, family, and friends. ...